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Woody Allen quotes

American motion-picture director, screenwriter, actor, and author,1935

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.


Eighty percent of success is showing up.


If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.


Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.


The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep.


To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.


Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.


Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.


It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.


If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.


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