If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it.... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.
Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.