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Mark Twain quotes

American humorist, writer and lecturer, 1835-1910

Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.


Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.


There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.


The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.


Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.


It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.


If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.


I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said, "I don't know."


I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.


Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.


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