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Funny quotes

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

Robin Williams quotes


After God, long live wine.

Rosalia de Castro quotes


Dancing is the poetry of the foot.

John Dryden quotes


I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible...and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.

Victor Borge quotes


If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

Johnny Carson quotes


I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough, let's go west.'

Richard Jeni quotes


Never rely on the glory of the morning nor the smiles of your mother-in-law.

Japanese Proverb quotes


My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.

Winston Churchill quotes


Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.

Doug Larson quotes


In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

Woody Allen quotes


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