I'm becoming more and more myself with time. I guess that's what grace is. The refinement of your soul through time.
I'm having a bad day. I am not size six. My legs are not skinny as sticks, and dammit, someone's got to pay. I'm afraid that I can't satisfy myself and that my happiness depends on someone else. I feel weak, so you're gonna take the fall. You're so small, I feel fat 'cause you're so small, I don't feel anything.
If I could tell the world just one thing it would be we're all okay, and not to worry cause worry is wasteful and useless in times like these. I won't be made useless, only idle with despair give myself around my faith, lights the darkness most feared. My hands are small I know but they're not yours they are my own, not yours, they are my own, and I'll never be broken.
In case you failed to notice, in case you failed to see, this is my heart, bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees.
Maybe I could have loved you better. Maybe you should have loved me more. Maybe our hearts were just next in line. Maybe everything breaks sometime.
You always feel better when you sing. Music touches people's hearts. You know, it doesn't go through your mental capacity, it just moves you and it will let you cry. It's worth it doing a show and when you touch a crowd and move yourself at the same time. You change lives and you change the world.
I felt in my life very suffocated and smothered by my circumstance. Your life becomes what you believe. I was living in a house with my mom and my younger brother and we were all sharing rent and wasn't really making rent. Didn't get to eat, I scraped food off of people's plates where I waitressed, I stole toilet paper from fast food restaurants... I got fired from my last job and that was it. My mom was like we're just going to do what we love, and we're gonna just have faith. So I lived in my van, and she lived in her van. And I decided, fine, I'll die, but I want to go to college. I'll die, I don't want to go to work and waitress. I want to do what I love only. I love singing, I never really thought I could make a living at it, it was dreaming. Zen, Buddha, God, Jesus, Trees, whatever is out there, what I want is. I want to make a living doing what I love, you know?
You have to realize: ok, I don't know how to solve a political problem, I don't know how to solve the pollution problem... all I know is in my own life, I need to figure out some sense of purpose, I need to figure out how to be happy... and I'm willing to give up looking at all you and trying to do everyone else's laundry and look at myself and what do I need... and that's *profound*. We point so many fingers and go 'this person isn't... are you blah blah blah?" If we all just took care of ourselves it'd be very efficient... all I can do ultimately in my own life... all I can speak is from my experience.
In the tenth grade, I was fascinated with the question 'what was immortality?' I read numerous philosophies, but the theory which has stayed with me was that of Plato, the Symposium. The idea that through Love and Beauty we achieve immortality. Putting all our soul into our work makes it not only alive with passion and emotion, but it also exists as one of the truest and most honest expressions of self. Making life a beautiful art, the art then retaining life. I still believe Beauty is one of those most important and difficult things to create and express.
I love life and I love that about people... I adore the human experience, I really adore the darknesses... I love the contradictions of people... I don't mind being sexy and girlish and womanly, and all those things at the same time... smart and very naive, you know those kinds of things, I like them about people... I like our rough edges.