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Funny quotes

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

Will Smith quotes


Golf is a wonderful exercise. You can stand on your feet for hours, watching somebody else putt.

Will Rogers quotes


Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course...the space between your ears.

Bobby Jones quotes


I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Woody Allen quotes


Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

Oscar Wilde quotes


I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

Winston Churchill quotes


The sum of intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.

Anonymous quotes


With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Anonymous quotes


My notion of a wife at forty is that a man should be able to change her, like a bank note, for two twenties.

Anonymous quotes


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