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Dorothy Parker quotes

American short-story writer and poet, 1893-1967

You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.


You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think.


Work is the province of cattle.


Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply callisthenics with words.


When asked to use the word 'horticulture' in a sentence: You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.


This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.


Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away.


The two most beautiful words in the English language are: 'Check Enclosed.'


Razors pain you; rivers are damp; acids stain you; and drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful; nooses give; gas smells awful; you might as well live.


The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.


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