Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to.
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.
1996 also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of being left behind, spending hundreds of millions of dollars to develop World Wide Web sites in a frantic scramble to reach the vast new consumer market of Web users. Apparently nobody has told the corporations that 93 percent of these users are in sixth grade.
The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.