Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
A committee is a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.
An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.