Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.  Billy Crystal quotes
You can say any foolish thing to do to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!' Dave Berry quotes Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken. Anonymous quotes If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children". Anonymous quotes Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. Drew Carey quotes Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. Drew Carey quotes The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house. Jeff Foxworthy quotes See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. Robin Williams quotes If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base. Dave Berry quotes What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them? Marilyn Pittman quotes | 
